Sleepwalker
by Dgm-yoai-lover
Summary: Lavi and Allen love eachother, but are unable to admit their feelings for fear of never seeing eachother again. But then, they confess, and everythings perfect, but every romance has road blocks. YOAI laven lavixallen, Lemon in latest chapter!
1. Allen's ghost

**First yoai fic on here!**

**This chapter will be from Allen's point of view, but for future chapters I might switch between Allen, Lavi and the third person, depends how the fiction is going.**

**I don't own this.**

**--**

_I first noticed something weird was going on when we had transferred to the new headquarters, and I started waking up in the night for no reason. I wasn't cold, I wasn't hot, I didn't need the bathroom, and, hard to believe, I wasn't hungry._

_At first, it didn't bother me, you know, cos I'd been through a lot, maybe it was just a bit of stress, but then, it started happening more frequently, and then every night, and then several times a night. There was nothing wrong with me, and I didn't feel all that stressed out, so it really puzzled me._

_But then, one night, I woke up, and just as I did, I heard the door shut. I jumped up and went to look out in the corridor but saw no one. So, the next night, I tried staying up, to see who was coming into my room, and what they wanted. But being woken up so often made it almost impossible to stay up even two hours too late and I fell asleep, only to be woken again by the door closing._

_I started to think maybe this order was haunted as well, but I asked around, and this place never had anyone die in or around it, and had no record of haunting, but, Komui did give me some useful advice on how to catch my "ghost."_

_--_

_I yelled in surprise as the loud sound of pots and pans crashing together woke me up. I sat up to see someone's silhouette fall to the ground with a __cry. I turned on my bedside lamp, and discovered, to my surprise, Lavi was picking himself up off the floor, having tripped over a wire, connected to kitchenware I'd hung from the roof._

'_Lavi?'I said in surprise, getting up to help him to his feet._

'_Allen!' Lavi looked just as surprised to see me as I him._

_He stood up and looked around my room._

'_This isn't my room...'_

'_No,' I shook my head, 'It's mine.'_

'_OH!' Lavi laughed and smacked himself on the head, 'Sorry Allen I must have been sleepwalking, I'll just go now.'_

'_Lavi!' I grabbed his arm as he tried to leave, 'Wait!'_

'_Can't, gotta go do...Bookman stuff!'_

_Lavi shook me off and ran out of my room. I wasn't really sure what was going on, so I kind of just stood there, gaping at the doorway._

_I went back to bed soon after, deciding to ask Lavi about it tomorrow...But I didn't know what I wanted to ask. Lots of people sleepwalked, right?_

_But then, why was Lavi constantly coming into my room? After asking around, no one else said people came into their room, so it must have just been mine, and that confused me further. Also, why was Lavi sleepwalking in the first place? To be doing so every night, several times in one night, it was either a medical condition or... Well, he didn't know what._

'_Tomorrow,' I told myself, 'I'll find him tomorrow.'_

_--_

_The next day, I couldn't find Lavi anywhere, even when I asked around. After searching the entire order twice, I decided to take a break, but not necessarily give up. I went to the empty library and combed the entire thing for all the books I could find on sleepwalking. There were hundreds, so I chose six of them that seemed the most comprehensive and went to a couch. I laid down on it and started to read one._

_Sleepwalking is disorder in which the sufferer practices activities normally associated with wakefulness, while asleep. Common causes are high levels of stress or anxiety, or conditions passed down through the family. A common misconception is that sleepwalking is when the sufferer is acting out the physical aspects of a dream, but in fact, sleepwalking occurs outside the state in which dreams appear._

_I went through all six books, and that's pretty much all they told me despite being the size of dictionaries._

_The thing was, though, despite the fact I considered Lavi to be a close friend, I knew nothing about him. Sure, I knew stuff like, his favourite food was barbeque pork, and that he liked to joke around, and stuff like that, but that was surface stuff. I didn't actually __know__ him. So, I didn't know if he was worried or stressed out, and I knew nothing about his family, if he had one._

_I had never really thought about it before, but now I realised, as a bookman, he probably didn't have a family. That meant he wouldn't know his medical history, so this was going to make it harder to get to the bottom of his sleepwalking. But I wasn't going to give up; after all, sleepwalking was dangerous. You could hurt yourself in so many ways when you had no idea what was going on._

_When I thought of that, I suddenly felt panicked for Lavi. I wondered if I should tell Komui or matron, in case they didn't know, but then...Would Lavi be happy about me snooping around behind his back?_

_I checked the clock on the wall. It was dinner time. Perhaps Lavi was in the new cafeteria now._

_--_

_He wasn't. In my quest for information on Lavi, I hadn't eaten all day, and as a parasite type I was now twenty times more hungry then a normal parasite, so I ate a lot more. Of course, it only took about ten minutes to clear the table, and then I got up to go find Lavi. In the hall I ran into Reever, so I asked if He'd seen Lavi, or if he'd gone on a mission. The man shook his head, so I told him if he saw Lavi, please tell him I'm looking for him. He nodded, and then we parted ways._

_Walking the halls, I started becoming worried. Perhaps when Lavi had been sleepwalking, he hadn't wanted anyone to know? I didn't think sleepwalking was something to be embarrassed about, but maybe there was something personal about it to Lavi that made him upset to know I had found out._

_Well, I hadn't told anyone, so maybe Lavi would forgive me, and tell me what was going on. The way he was acting about it, I had decided that the cause was most likely stress or anxiety. I was no doctor, but still, I cared about Lavi greatly, and desperately wanted to help him. From the moment we'd met, we'd become instant friends, and the thing about me was... If my friend had a problem, then I wouldn't stop until that problem was fixed._

_But._

_Well, it was hard to explain, but Lavi felt different from a friend. It was like...Well, I don't know... I guess you could say I had a bit of a crush on him. It didn't really bother me that I had a crush on another guy...I mean, I like girls too... So I guess that means I'm bisexual._

_No one knew that though. And I'm sure Lavi would get freaked out if he found out I had a crush on him, so I wasn't about to tell anyone._

_But whatever, i wasn't interested in exploring my sexual orientation at that time, the only thing I was interested in was finding Lavi._

_I quickly went over all the places I'd been in my head...And that's when it hit me. I hadn't checked the balcony on the roof._

_--_

**Ok, end of chapter. Please Review guys!**


	2. Confusing actions

**Yes, I know, lightning fast update, but hey, can't time when the ideas come, and when they do I gotta write em down fast or I forget them faster then Dory.**

**I don't own d.gray-man. Or finding nemo.**

**--**

_I clung to the balcony railing, trying to breathe deeply, a cool breeze blowing in my face.. I could feel tears forming in my eye, and I shut it tight, preventing their escape. I had never cried in my life, and if I started now, because of Allen…. It was all over. My body was shivering, though I wasn't cold. I was avoiding him, to dodge questions, because when Allen looked at me with those big puppy dog grey eyes of his it actually broke my heart to lie to him._

_No! I couldn't think like that! I don't have a heart to be broken, no…._

_My throat burned, wanting the tears to be let out. I shook my head. I wasn't going to cry. Sure, I was alone, so no one could see me, but if I let myself cry, it would mean that it was official. I'd gotten involved. I was no longer a Bookman._

_If Panda found out what I'd been doing, how I was feeling right now, how hard I was struggling not to cry...He'd erase my memories of loving Allen, and then we'd have to leave._

_Without my permission a tear slid down my cheek._

'_Shit...' I swore in choked voice, bowing my head in defeat._

_And then, I felt someone brush the tears away from my face. My eyes shot open, and I turned to see none other then Allen, a worried look on his face, his gloved hand outstretched._

'_Allen!' I exclaimed, panic shooting through my body as I backed up against the railing, 'Wha-wha-?'_

'_Whatcha crying for?' Allen said in a low voice that made my voice catch in my throat._

'_I'm...I'm... I'm not! I just...Please!' I grabbed Allen's shoulders disparately, 'Don't tell anyone! I can't stand the thought of...Of...'_

'_Of what?'_

_Allen looked up at me, his misty eyes boring into me, disarming every lie I had stored in my brain. I found myself shaking violently, my knees weakening. I had to hold on to Allen for support._

'_L-Lavi!'_

'_I don't want you to disappear!'_

_Allen looked up at me, shocked, but I couldn't stop, I had to let it out. _

'_I wasn't sleepwalking...' My voice sounded choked as I fought tears, 'I... Ever since we got here, I've been dreaming of you, Allen, all the friggen' time! I'll dream that you died, that the innocence in you're heart went away, and then I'd wake up, and get so scared that I have to get up and walk to your room to make sure you're ok! And once I get back to sleep, I dream that you got killed by Tykki, or that you died in that fight with the level four! And every time, I have to get up, to make sure...To make...'_

_I couldn't go on. I was crying freely now, and I turned my head, so Allen couldn't see. But then, I felt warm arms around me, hugging me tight. I'd only ever been hugged once in my life, and that was by Allen also, when I was under the control of Roads dream and he was trying to get through to me._

_This only made me start crying even more. I buried my head in Allen's shoulder, sobbing like a little kid, and he rubbed my back soothingly in a circular motion. A second later, I realised Allen was crying too._

_We sank to the ground, our legs weak from crying, our arms around each other, clinging to one another like our lives depended on it. I wasn't sure what had just happened, whether or not Allen had seen that as a confession or not, but at that moment, I just wanted to stay in Allen's arms forever._

_--_

_As I lay down to sleep that night, my mind whirled. I had no idea that Lavi worried about me like that, and it made me feel a little hopeful, but only for a second. Lavi liked girls, obviously..._

_But I did too and yet...So maybe..?_

_No, to hope for something like Lavi's love was too much to ask for, it was beyond my reach... Besides, once we'd stopped hugging and crying, Lavi had run off without saying anything to me, almost like he'd regretted it..._

_Suddenly I started out of my sleepy daze. Lavi stood over my bed, a cool hand placed on my forehead._

_I blushed._

'_Lavi-'_

'_ALLEN!' Lavi stumbled back into the wall, clutching his chest. I sat up and smiled._

'_It's ok,' I shrugged as he stuttered an apology, 'But really, I'm gonna be fine, you should go back to your room and get some sleep.'_

_Lavi nodded and muttered a goodnight. He left looking utterly embarrassed. I lay back down, my heart fluttering. Lavi was not acting his usual, cheerful self, he really did seem disturbed by the dreams. I sighed and pulled the covers over my head. I sometimes had dreams about Lavi too, bad ones where he would die, or he would reject me, and i always felt sick right after, but it's not like I had to go check on him in order to go back to sleep._

_Though, one time, i was taking a book back to the library, and Lavi was in there, curled up on a cushion on the floor, asleep. He'd looked so peaceful and serene, I'd sat and watched him for ages, before he'd started to stir and I'd ran as fast I could, not wanting be seem like a stalker._

_But other then that time, I'd kept my crush on Lavi under control, treating him like my other friends...Though tonight, when I'd hugged him, I'd come pretty close to the edge. I'd have to be more careful in the future._

_Tonight had been extremely confusing._

_--_

_**Done! Ok, reviews please! Tell me what ya think!**_


	3. Exaustion and anxiety

**Another update!**

**And you really expect me to suddenly own dgm a few hours after I LAST said I didn't?**

**--**

_For the next few nights, Lavi didn't come to my room to check on me. I was glad, sort of, cos maybe it meant he was getting over his worries, but when I saw him at meal times in the day I noticed something off about him._

_He'd kind of started looking...Well, exhausted. At first it wasn't noticeable, but he'd stopped smiling, and was actually snapping at people who talked to him. He had shadows under his eyes...Well, eye... But then on the third day I passed him in the hall. I smiled and said hi, but he didn't even look at me, he just mumbled something about possums in the roof and continued on his way._

_I became concerned for him again._

_Then, that night, I was walking up to my room to go to bed, and I passed Lavi again. It was as i was turning a corner, and he knocked into my shoulder. I apologised, but he just stood there, his eye half closed. I raised an eyebrow._

'_Lavi?' I shook his arm gently._

_Suddenly, Lavi's eye slid shut and I yelled as he fell forward. I grabbed him and lowered him to his knees, panic rising in my chest._

'_L-Lavi! What's wrong?!'_

'_Nothing...' He mumbled into my shoulder, 'I'm just a little sleepy...'_

'_Sleepy?!'_

'_Hm... Haven't been able to sleep since Tuesday, I keep waking up...Then I want to go see you but I know I'm not allowed so I just get worried and can't get back to...To...'_

_My eyes widened. Lavi hadn't slept for three days?_

'_I never said you weren't allowed!' I cried, a little frustrated that he'd gone through this without telling me. I grabbed his shoulder with one hand, then wrapped my other arm around his waist and lifted him to his feet. He opened his eye a little as I made him start walking._

'_Where we goin'...' He murmured._

'_You're sleeping in my room, then you won't be so worried and you can get some damn sleep.'_

_Lavi muttered a protest, but I ignored it and half-carried him down the hall towards my room. I was kind of blushing at the idea of Lavi sleeping there, but I heard if people go for ten days without sleep they die __of exhaustion. Lavi was almost halfway there and he already looked dead, and if I was the reason for this, then I couldn't think of any other way to solve this._

_--_

_I was lying in comfortable warmth on something soft, a bed no doubt. The bed had a delightful smell, something I couldn't describe other then "happy."_

_And you know what was weird? I wasn't having any nightmares. It was just pleasant darkness, uninterrupted by thoughts or images. _

_But, soon enough, I felt sunlight creeping across the room, forcing my eyes open. I blinked the remaining tiredness away and sat up. Allen was lying on a futon on the floor, still dozing, the top of his head just visible under the covers. I smiled, and kicked at the lump under the blankets. Allen snorted in annoyance and pulled the covers further over his head. Holding back giggles, I got on the floor, whipped back the blankets, straddled him and started tickling him._

_Allen's eyes shot open and he struggled against me. I laughed and tickled him more._

'_St-stop!' Allen laughed, hitting me, 'I'm up already!'_

_Smiling, I hopped off Allen. Allen was ticklish, so it took a few seconds before he could stop giggling. He looked so adorable._

'_S-so did you sleep ok?' Allen asked as he sat up, tilting his head at me. I nodded happily and grabbed his hand to drag him to his feet._

'_Sure did! Your bed is really comfy. But really, you didn't need to bring me here-'_

'_Did too,' Allen went over to his wardrobe to pull out some clothes. As I watched him, I felt a little bit down. Allen's mattress was the same kind of mattress in every room, so it wasn't that the bed was any more comfortable then mine, it's that I slept better with Allen's presence. Did that mean to sleep I'd have to be in Allen's room? In his bed..._

_The thought made me blush. I hit my forehead, trying to kill the thought, wishing it would go away. I had already let this get too far, if anyone found out at this point..._

'_Allen,' I said seriously, making the boy turn to look at me, 'You can't tell anyone you hugged me, or that I've been worried about you, or anything. If you do, Panda will find out, and I'll have to leave forever.'_

_To my delight, upon hearing that I might leave, a shadow passed over Allen's face, one of pure sadness. I wasn't sure what to make of the expression._

'_It's cos I'm his friend,' I told myself, 'No one wants their friend gone.'_

'_Ok...' Allen nodded, 'I'll keep it a secret. But I have a question...Lavi, all this anxiety you're suffering from...'_

'_Don't worry,' I held up my hand, my smile returning from his concern, 'I'm seeing a doctor about it, I guess I'm just going through a rough spell. But I feel much better now, really.'_

_Allen smiled at me and nodded. He then carried his fresh change of clothes into his bathroom, and a second later I heard the shower turn on. I left the room, feeling a bit weird._

_I had never told anyone about my anxiety problem. It didn't seem like I had it, I know, but that just showed how good I was at covering up. I had never told anyone, since it was a bit embarrassing; not many people knew anxiety could also be an actual sickness, and not just a passing worry. As a child, I started to get frequent stomach-aches, and became overly worried about things, and it went on from there. I kept silent about it until Panda figured it out and took me too a doctor, where I was diagnosed. It was better these days, but with everything that had happened, it had resurfaced. I still didn't like the idea of discussing it, but talking to Allen...Well, it seemed so natural to pour out my problems to him. I wanted to keep talking to him, and find out about his problems if he had any. I didn't feel embarrassed or restricted at all around him. I wanted to know him better._

_I shook my head. No, I knew enough for the history books, and that was it. I didn't need to know anything more...I didn't need to, but I wanted to._

_Suddenly, I turned a corner, and I spotted Panda coming towards me. He looked cross, as always. I put on a cheerful smile and waved. He narrowed his eyes._

'_Where were you last night? I thought I told you to do the work in the library!'_

_I sweatdropped. Oops._

'_W-well...' I laughed nervously, racking my brain for an explanation that didn't involve the boy I loved 'You see...I, um, well, I was really really tired, cos I hadn't slept for a few days, and I, er, collapsed.'_

_Panda was good at seeing through lies, so i made sure to lace mine with the truth. I waited to see if it had worked._

'_I see. And why, prey tell, were you unable to sleep for so long?'_

'_M-my anxiety was acting up.'_

_There, that was the truth too. This was all the truth, I just wasn't telling him everything._

_To my joy, Panda believed it._

'_Very well...' He sighed, 'But Lavi, if something like that happens too often it affects both your mental and physical health, and you'll become unfit to be a Bookman, you'll need to consult your doctor again.'_

_I nodded, exasperated. I __hated__ going to the doctor's for this type of thing._

'_Good,' Panda continued. 'Now get to the library, due to your slacking off there is now triple the work to be done. I've already done my share.'_

_The old man brushed past me and I sighed, and started walking to the library. It was going to take forever to get through the day._

_--_

**Now, this chapter shows my weird interest in medical conditions. I can't help it, I swear! My mums a nurse and so is my older sister! I've been around this stuff my entire life, particularly the mental stuff, so sorry if you got bored.**

**But never fear, i'm planning on "stuff" in the next chapter...**

**REVEIW!**


	4. Questions

**Yays! The ideas for this story just keep coming!**

**And, stupid as I may seem, I just figured out what an uke and a seme are. Finally, I get those jokes!**

**Tell you what, I'll say I don't own d.gray-man now, and if I do own it before the fic is over, I'll tell you. But till then, not owning it.**

**--**

_When I got out of the shower, Lavi wasn't there.__ I thought of the happy expression he had on his face after getting a goodnight sleep and I smiled, feeling warm. If the way he'd attacked me with tickles was any indication, he was back to his old self. Just then, my tummy growled loudly. I groaned at the sudden sensation of my stomach eating itself and pulled on my shoes to leave. _

_Down in the cafeteria, I ordered my usual mountain of food, (though to me it was more like an anthill) and ate quickly. As I did, I glanced around the cafeteria, looking for Lavi. He wasn't there, and I sighed, disappointed. I liked it when he sat with me while I ate, even though I pretended to be annoyed when he made jokes._

_Breifly, i wondered if having him sleep in my bed was weird for him. I mean, i know I'd get nervous if i had to sleep in his bed...But thats just the perverted side of me talking. Lavi...He didn't get nervous around people. He was one of those touchy-feely types, one of those people who beleived the world could do with one more hug, one more smile, one more kind word..._

_That was one of the reason's i like him so much i think. When i was growing up, nobody really showed that much affection to me.. I mean, even when i was a newborn my parents just tossed me in an orphanage. Once i turned three they got rid of me, fearing i was some devil, and i was shunned in the streets, cos come on...A kid living on the streets MUST be bad news right? Things got better once Mana found me though... But then he died, and i went to live with Cross, and personally i think i was better off on the streets..._

_Just then, i saw Lenalee walking past. I called out to her and asked if she'd seen Lavi. She said she'd seen him heading towards the library, muttering about evil books drowing him in a sea of words._

_I smiled and nodded and thanked her for the information, then got up and went over to the kitchen._

_'Oh, Allen!' Jeryy smiled, 'Still hungry?'_

_'No..' I shook my head, 'Lavi's been working all morning in the library. Has he eaten breakfast?'_

_'No, i don't think i got an order for him...'_

_'Well can you please make him some barbeque pork and some coffee? i'll take it up for him.'_

_'Of course!' Jeryy cried joyfully as he suddenly grabbed out several pots and pans, 'Such a nice boy you are, looking out for your friends...'_

_I smiled and nodded again, and waited until Jeryy had finished cooking. I took the tray, bowed my head in thanks and went out of the cafeteria._

_--_

_I sighed in boredom, and glanced around me. I was surrounded by towers of books and papers. I shuddered, thinking it would never end. Panda ALWAYS left the worst of this kind of stuff to me...But then, once i get an apprentice of my own, i'll probably end up doing the same thing to him... Cos seriously, this sucked!_

_My stomach growled loudly and i groaned in agony. If i left the library before the work was done, Panda would kill me._

_Just then, there was a knock at the door. I looked up, and it swung open to reveal Allen._

_'Hi Lavi! Brought you breakfast!'_

_I stood up._

_'Really?!' I cried a happily. I could have sworn i heard trumpets playing. Allen nodded happily, came in and held out a tray with my faverote food and my coffee mug on it. I thanked him and dug into it, eating almost as fast as Allen could. Allen sat down next to me on the floor, a smile on his face. once I'd finished, he spoke._

_'Hey, you want me to help you with all this work?'_

_I blinked as he guestered at the books. I wanted him to stay, one, cos i loved him and two cos i wanted help, but..._

_'I don't know...' I said slowly, trying not to give anything away._

_'Come on, Lavi, if i help you'll get it done faster... Besides, i enjoy spending time with you.'_

_'Okyoucanhelp.'_

_I answered so quickly i surprised myself. I looked away to hide my blush. I was going to turn him down, but him saying he liked spending time with me...Ugh, i know it's only cos we're friends but when he said that my mind shut down for a second and my heart did the talking._

_Well, if i told him he couldn't now, he'd ask questions...Questions that i couldn't answer. So, i shrugged it off, trusting myself to stay in control, and showed him the things he could do._

_--_

_Me and Lavi spent the entire day in the library, and we barely made a dent in the pile of books, though that really didn't bother me. I was enjoying my time with him a great deal. Because this was Bookman work i could only do a few things, but Lavi commented that with me here i was helping him work fast, distracting him from boredom. That made me blush and stutter. After i returned from the kitchen with his dinner, he said i could go to bed now._

_'Nah.' I smiled, 'I'm having fun, can i please stay?'_

_Lavi tried to protest, so i went doe-eyed. He laughed and patted my head._

_'You can stay if you want, Bambii.'_

_I pouted, annoyed by the new nickname, but shrugged it off. _

_We were both lying on our stomaches, Lavi writing in a book, me watching him, my chin resting on my hands. We had a fire going, and i watched as the flickering light cast beautiful golden shadows across Lavi's face, making his green eye sparkle and his brilliant hair colour switch between shades. I wondered where he had gotten such an amazing hair colour. His mother? His father? Perhaps he was Irish or Scottish?_

_'Lets play a game,' I suggested. Lavi looked up._

_'What kind of game?'_

_'It's called "Questions." I'll ask a question about yourself, you answer truthfully, then ask me one, and it goes like that.'_

_I noticed Lavi looked kind of apprehensive. Maybe there was something he didn't want me finding out? I wondered about this, but i wanted to know him better. Luckily, Lavi seemed to collect himself. He grinned cheekily and nodded. I could tell he was going to ask me some weird questions._

_'I'll go first.' I said quickly. 'Ok... What country were you born in?'_

_'America,' Lavi tilted his head. 'Who is Mana?'_

_I stared. Lavi seemed to sense he'd said something._

_'Sorry, is that a sensative topic? It's just i was curious cos you mentioned him a few times...'_

_'It's fine,' I waved his apology away, 'Mana was my father...Well, he was my foster father, but he was closer to me then my real parents, thats for sure. Whats behind the eyepatch?'_

_'An empty eye socket. In a fight between Miranda and Krory who would win?'_

_'Miranda. Why do you have no eye?'_

_'A kid stuck a pen in it when i was four. Why would Miranda win?'_

_'Cos Krory likes her,' I grinned, 'He'd let her win.'_

_'Touche.' Lavi chuckled. I also laughed, and i sat up and shivered. Lavi saw this._

_'You cold?'_

_'Yeah...' I nodded sheepishly, 'I guess cos it's winter the fire isn't enough.'_

_'Yeah..' Lavi nodded. 'Hold on a sec..'_

_He got up and went over to a pile of books. I watched as he pulled something from under them, and he turned and came back, holding a blanket._

_'Here.'_

_I blushed as Lavi put the blanket around my shoulders. I pulled it around me tightly and smiled gratefully, my body warming._

_'Thankyou.' I said as he sat next to me and picked up his pen._

_'No problem...Now, where were we?'_

_--_

_Allen and I played that game for another two hours, finding more and more out about eachother, with the odd silly question like "do you think Komui was dropped on his head while watching a robot anime", or "What flavour of chips is better, salt and vineger or bbq?"_

_Then, i asked a silly question._

_'Do you think Kanda is hot?'_

_Allen blushed and looked at me. I grinned._

_'Well?'_

_'I suppose...' Allen went even redder._

_'Why Allen, i had no idea you swing that way.'_

_'Hm...' He made an annoyed noise, 'Whats your faverote colour?'_

_'Green. Are you gay?'_

_'N-no...' Allen denied it, but his voice shook, and he was avoiding eye contact._

_'I sense a liiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee...' I sang in a tormenting voice. I knew that even if Allen WAS gay, we still didn't have a chance, but i still wanted to know._

_'It's not a lie,' Allen sighed, looking at me, his cheeks flushed. I searched his face. No, it wasn't a lie...But there was something else..._

_'Theres something you aint tellin' me.' I grinned. Allen pouted._

_'Fine,' Allen rolled his eyes in exasperation, 'No, i'm not gay, but i'm bisexual, so yes, i think Kanda is hot. But that doesn't stop him being a jerk! I think the stick up his arse must have a stick up it's arse!'_

_I laughed, and Allen glared._

_'Don't go reading too much into this...'_

_'I don't know what you're talking about,' I said defensively, 'I would NEVER try to set you up on a date with Kanda!'_

_'I never suggested that!'_

_Allen punched my arm playfully. I could tell he was trying not to smile as he gazed back into the dying embers of the fire. Suddenly, a chill ran through my spine and i shivered. Allen glanced at me._

_'You cold too now?'_

_I nodded, rubbing my arms to generate some heat. I wanted to go get more wood for the fire place, but the wood room would be shut at this time of night. The order was such a tight-arse, took any oppertunity to save supplies..._

_Suddenly, Allen moved closer to me, reached around me and wrapped me up in the blanket with him. It as a pretty big blanket, so it fit us fine with room for another, and i immediently felt myself getting warmer._

_I glanced at him, blushing, and...Was he blushing too?_

_'W-wanna go back to the game?'_

_I nodded. He smiled._

_'Have you ever liked anyone?'_

_'Y-yes..' My blush deepened. 'What about you? Have ou ever liked anyone before?'_

_'No. Who did you like?'_

_'I used to have a crush on Kanda.'_

_'You did?!' Allen stared in shock. I grinned and shrugged._

_'Yeah, i'm bisexual too. Weird, huh?'_

_Allen nodded slowly, and for a second, i thought i saw his eyes sparkle. I mentally shook myself an pressed on._

_'You said you didn't like anyone before...' I said slowly. My next question was toeing the line. 'Do you like anyone now?'_

_'Yes...'_

_Allens voice was small, and his face looked guilty. I wanted to know who it was, but before i could ask, Allen asked another question._

_'Lavi, you're not allowed to be...Well, you can't have relationships as a Bookman. Is that hard on you?'_

_'Yes...' I was staring into his gray eyes now. 'It's really hard, particularly when you're in love and you can't tell them how you feel, because if you do, you'll lose them, and you'll have to go away forever.'_

_Allen's misty orbs widened in shock. 'This is it,' I thought, 'He found me out. He knows. I knew i shouldn't have let it get this far. I should have just stayed away.'_

_'I know what that feels like...' Allen seemed to move closer to me, his face so near our noses were almost touching._

_'Y-you do?' I stuttered, distracted by the depth of his eyes._

_'Un...If i tell the person i love that i love, he'll have to go, and i'll never see him again...'_

_'You don't say...'_

_My heart was racing. I felt drunk. I half closed my eye, wanting look away, but at the same time, i wanted to kiss the boy that now sat opposite me, leaning forward, gripping my forearms, closing his wonderfully misty eyes, placing his soft lips on mine..._

_--_

**Now THAT was fun to write! Aw, so cute! when i re-read this i went "Squeee!' and span around in my swivel chair, cos come on, you gotta admit it was pretty cute towards the end. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**And...**

**reveiw!!**


	5. Kissing in Lavi's room

**Woot! Another update! **

**And you guys better enjoy this chapter, i almost got caught writing it by my grandparents. Now THAT was terrifying experience.**

**--**

_Lavi leaned away from me, pushing me off with one hand. I regained my senses and sat back on my knees, unable to believe what I'd just tried to do._

'_S-sorry...' I managed to stutter, 'I-I wasn't thinking straight and...U-uh...'_

_I could feel my face heating up, and stared at the ground, trying to think of what to say next. But, before I could speak, Lavi placed a hand on mine. Surprised, I looked up at him. He was grinning._

'_Lavi?'_

_He didn't answer. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand more firmly and pulled me to my feet, the blanket slipping from our shoulders and onto the floor._

'_We shouldn't kiss here,' He explained, 'someone could walk in on us.'_

_I blinked, kind of surprised, but once again, before I could say anything, he led me out the library and along the hall. My mind was whirling. What the hell?_

_--_

_I could tell that Allen was very confused as I led him towards my room, and I was confused too. I mean, if anyone ever found out about this I'd be sent away and I'd have my emotions erased... But, feeling Allen's hand in mine, looking at his face, I found... I really didn't give a shit. I loved him, and if anyone had a problem with that, then too bad._

_We came to my room. I opened the door and led him in, and locking it behind us. He turned to me, looking determined, though there was a definite blush on his cheeks._

'_Lavi, what the hell are you doing? If Bookman finds out-'_

'_Exactly,' I grinned, tapping his nose, 'IF he finds out. But he's not gonna find out, is he? I mean, are YOU going to tell him?'_

_Allen shook his head. He looked a little more hopeful. I moved my hand to cup his cheek, and i leaned forward and kissed him on the lips._

_The kiss caused me to see stars, and my legs felt weak. I'd never kissed anyone before, and I was glad I hadn't, cos kissing Allen was like...Wow. But, I was feeling a little sad, too, because, well, this wasn't Allen's first kiss, that Noah Road stole it in the ark. The thought caused me to tense, and I pulled away. Allen could tell something was wrong._

'_Lavi? Did I do something?'_

'_No...' I shook my head, a little embarrassed, 'It's just... Well, this my first kiss, but it's not yours. I just feel a bit down.'_

'_What?' Allen's grey eyes widened, 'Your not talking about Road, are you?! Geez, Lavi, I hardly count that as my first kiss. Her...She was more of a kiss-rape.'_

_Despite myself, I couldn't help but chuckle._

'_Heh, kiss-rape? Where the hell did ya come up with that?'_

'_Well that's basically what it is when someone forces themselves on you like that!'_

'_Like a minute ago in the library? Was that you trying to kiss-rape me?'_

_Allen pouted. I giggled and kissed him again. That put the smile back on his face._

'_Anyway,' He continued, 'For the purpose of history, this is what I count as my first kiss, so what ever file you stored the Road thing in; you might as well burn it. This is the first time I'm kissing someone I love.'_

_He wrapped his arms around me, stood on his toes and our lips joined again. I could feel he had opened his mouth a little, allowing my tongue entrance, and we battled for dominance. Never really kissing anyone before, we didn't have a very good idea of what we were doing, so we went with what naturally came to us. Let me tell you, it was pretty good._

_At this point, I could tell Allen's legs were going weak too, so we moved towards the bed and sat on the edge, all the while not separating or letting. I held his skinny waist tightly, and suddenly Allen pulled away. He looked kind of distressed._

'_What's wrong?' I stroked his cheek with my finger._

'_Um... Lavi, we aren't going to... You know... Are we? C-cos I don't think... I'm really not... I mean..'_

_I smiled, seeing what he was getting at, and patted him on the head._

'_It's ok, Allen, if you're not ready, then I'm not gonna pressure you.'_

'_I'm really sorry...' Allen continued, 'I love you, but I-'_

'_Allen,' I said sternly 'Seriously, it's alright. Calm down.'_

_Allen nodded shyly, finally persuaded, and we continued kissing. _

_--_

_At some point, we must have lain down and fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was having another nightmare. It was one of the most common ones, the one where the innocence in Allen's heart stopped working. We'd be talking, and then, Allen would start gasping, and would clutch his chest. I'd try __to help him, panic rising, but he'd push me away, and then fall to the floor. Sparkling innocence burst from his chest and then Tykki was standing over me as I cried out to Allen, laughing his head off._

'_LAVI!'_

_Suddenly, I was being shaken awake, and I opened my eyes to see a panic-stricken Allen looking down at me. My face was wet with tears._

'_Lavi, you were having another nightmare, weren't you?'_

_I nodded, too scared to speak. Allen smiled and laid down beside me, then to my surprise, he pulled me closer to him, and made me rest my head on his chest. Through his cotton shirt, I could feel the warmth of his skin. He moved my head to the left side, and then, I heard it, the sound of his heartbeat. I could feel it pumping life to every part of his body. It was beautiful._

'_Hear that?' Allen said quietly. I nodded._

'_Good,' he continued, ' Cos it's not going to stop anytime soon. You're here, Lavi, and it beats for you. Now will you please smile? I hate seeing you like this.'_

_I looked up at him and grinned happily, wiping my wet face with my sleeve. I moved back onto the pillow and put my arms around him and kissed his head. He snuggled against me, and we closed our eyes, laying there, utterly content in the blissful warmth of eachothers love. I could feel my anxiety slowly ebbing away, like water in the ocean at low tide. It was all going to be ok._

_--_

**Ok, thats it for the chapter, but fear not, i am by no means done! Reveiw!**

**Also, i need your advice on something. Should i do a lemon chapter at the end, or near the end? I want to, but im not sure, so give me your opinions!**

**Just note, if i do a lemon chapter, it wont be full on, and it would be at least halfway tasteful, so, yeah. Tell me what ya think.**


	6. Caught

**Ok, lets go!**

**--**

'_Allen? In the ark, when I died...How did you react?'_

_I blinked and looked up from the manga I was reading in the library while Lavi finished writing in the stuff we'd left the night before. I leant close to him, resting my head on his shoulder, listening to the fire crackling in the hearth._

'_Why do you ask?' I enquired. Lavi shrugged._

'_I dunno, I guess I've been worried about your death so much, I want to know how you'd feel if__ I __died. How did you react?'_

_I was silent for a minute, thinking of that day, remembering how I felt when I reached out to grab Lavi's hammer, to save him from falling into the darkness, only to have it crumble away in my hands, and the final shocked look Lavi gave me as he disappeared._

'_I screamed.' I said bluntly, 'And then... Well, I completely freaked out, I guess. I don't remember much. I felt so angry I was almost blind. My mind went blank, and I hated the world so much at that point, I just went charging into battle with the earl. I probably woulda been killed if Master hadn't stopped me. The pain felt worse then when Tykki put the tease in my heart.'_

'_Hm...' Lavi made a thoughtful noise as he put an arm around me, rubbing my shoulder absent-mindedly. He suddenly smiled._

'_Did that mean you've liked me a longer time then just when we got here?'_

'_Yeah...' I nodded, blushing a little. 'Remember when we went looking for the leaf of revival, and i got knocked out, and woke up for a second, then went back to sleep?'_

'_yep.'_

'_Well, when I looked up at you, that's when I think I first fell for you.'_

'_Aw, and you were so filled with a sudden amount of Love you fell into a blissful unconsciousness cos your heart couldn't handle it?'_

'_No...' I raised my eyebrow, unable to suppress a smirk 'I fell unconscious cos I was in the process of freezing to death.'_

'_...Oh yeah...'_

_Lavi chuckled, and kissed my forehead. I pouted, kind of annoyed that he hadn't kissed me on the lips since last night, but if someone were to walk in on us, it would be very hard to explain, so i guess i had to grin and near it. Lavi had gone back to his work. The room was too quiet without the sound of his voice._

'_What about you?' I said, 'how long have you liked me like this for?'_

'_Not sure,' Lavi smiled in apology, 'Since it was, you know, not allowed to love someone it sort of felt like my heart was bottling something up. Truth is, I was in denial about it for a while, only recently did I really acknowledge it.'_

'_Oh...'_

_Hearing this made me feel a bit disappointed, that Lavi had found it so troublesome that he had feelings for me. Yes, I knew it was because he was a Bookman and all, but I couldn't help but feel my heartstrings being pulled painfully as I was reminded of our forbidden circumstances. Lavi seemed to sense my discomfort, because he suddenly put his arms around me, and pressed me to his chest. I cuddled up against him, savouring the light, floaty feeling, his embrace more warming then the fire place we sat in front of._

'_But,' his voice was soft, 'Even though I was in denial, when Lenalee and I found the spot that Tykki had almost killed you at, I tried to act indifferent, but I couldn't stop myself from taking this.'_

_Lavi reached around me, to the book he had been writing in. He picked it up, opened it and took out the bookmark. My eyes widened in surprise. It was the ace of hearts which had been missing from my deck of playing cards._

'_At first I didn't know why I took this,' Lavi continued as I reached out to touch it, 'But on Anita's boat, I found myself wanting to get away from everyone, so I could look at it alone, to hide it from Panda, cos I knew that me keeping it was wrong. That's when I accepted I loved you.'_

_I looked up at Lavi, smiling brightly. He grinned back, and I reached up, put my hand on his cheek and pulled his face closer, and our lips joined._

_--_

Komui yawned boredly as he signed a bunch of forms that didn't make sense. He hated this time of the week when the paperwork seemed to be at its worst. He reached for his extra-strength-double-black coffee and took a sip. At times like these, one thing he liked to do was spy on people through the video surveillance golems he had set up secretly throughout the order. He never looked at women in the shower or anything like that, he just liked to see what people were doing, said his inner gossip.

As he again raised his mug to his mouth, he reached under his desk and pulled out the central golum he viewed everything with. He switched it on, and flicked through the channels. Suddenly, he turned on the library golem, and his eyes widened. He took a second to register what he was seeing, and then spat out his coffee onto the forms.

'OH MY GOD!' He couldn't hold back a shout.

'Supervisor, what is it?!' Reever opened the door, but then, his eyes spotted the hologram of Lavi and Allen making out on the floor, and his jaw dropped.

--

_When me and Allen left for lunch, I realised everyone was staring at us, which made me feel a little nervous. I mean, did they suspect something? No, why would they? Allen and I had lunch together all the time, it was probably just my anxiety making me paranoid...At least, that's what I hoped until Allen tugged my arm shyly, trying not to look suss._

'_Lavi, is it me, or are people whispering about us?'_

_I listened and looked. People were now glancing at eachother, and talking behind their hands, looking at us sideways. My hand shook as I raised a fork of food to my mouth. How could they find out? Allen and I hadn't said anything to anyone. Unless, of course, this was just one of those school yard rumours that occasionally passed through here, made up by someone out of boredom. I hoped to god it was just that and that it would pass quickly and before Panda found out._

_As if on cue, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I yelled in surprise and jumped about three feet in the air._

'_Bo-bookman...' I heard Allen stutter, 'H-how have you bee-been?'_

'_Lavi, turn around.'_

_I winced at the sound of the old mans voice and turned. He glared up at me, angry._

'_Is it true?'_

'_I-is what true?' I stuttered also, glancing at Allen out of the corner of my eye._

'_Is it true you have a sexual relationship with Allen Walker?' Bookman narrowed his eyes. The way he spoke of Allen like he wasn't there annoyed me._

'_No,' I shook my head, speaking the truth, 'We don't.'_

_Panda searched my face, trying to find a lie. I had not told him a lie, but once again, i had left a few things out. To my relief, it worked. He sighed._

'_Good, keep it that way. Meet me at the gate after lunch, we have business in town.'_

_I watched as my senior walked away. Once he was out of sight, I clutched my heart and gripped the table for support, shaking in fear. Allen let out a big sigh._

'_Holy shit that was close...' I breathed quietly so no one around could hear. Allen nodded, head in his hands._

'_We-we'll have to be more careful...' He gasped. I nodded in agreement, and stared at the food on my plate. There was no way I could eat now._

'_You finish that?' Allen asked. I raised my eyebrow at him, surprised he could still be hungry, then smiled and pushed my plate towards him, which he then began to clean._

_--_

Bookman eyed Lavi suspiciously as they walked towards the town library. The redhead was pointedly keeping his eyes straight ahead. There had been no lie on his face when he had asked him if he had a relationship with the destroyer of time, but on the other hand, he was clearly hiding something, what with the way he was walking stiffly, keeping his head bowed, and staying silent rather then humming or complaining or nattering on about nonsense. The rumour had definatly taken a toll on him.

'I'll have to keep a closer watch on him from now on,' He decided, 'But I'll fetch the mind erasing scroll from the library, just in case.'

--

**Wow, you have no idea how long it took to get this chapter right, cos i had moments planned out, but i had no idea how to get to those moments, so yay! I accomplished it!**

**Anyway, Review! And i still haven't decided about the lemon chapter, so keep giving me feed back. Also, if you have any suggestions for the story, I welcome them. REVEIW!**


	7. Definately caught

**Ok, another update! And stupid spell check, manga is too a real word! Bloody hell...**

**And omg! Timcanpy makes an appearance! Dunno why but i have a habit of forgetting to put him in my fics.**

**I don't own fruits basket, though I do have the dvd collection. When I saw it in the mall I was like OMG! KYO-NESS!**

**--**

_While I browsed the shelves of London's library, I kept glancing around for Panda. He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, just reading through an old, heavy book... It was the fact he hadn't scolded me for wandering into the manga section that had put me on edge. I shook slightly as I pretended to read a volume of Fruits basket, fear making it hard to swallow. Somehow, someone had found out about me and Allen, I was sure of it now. If Panda asked a more direct question, or if he walked in on us..._

_I shivered. My chest was aching a little, as was my head. I sat down at a table, my head in my hands, and I tried to think of what to do. Nothing came to mind... I suppose we could run away if caught, but I wouldn't do that to Allen, and besides, I doubt Panda would give me a chance._

_Suddenly, Panda tapped my shoulder._

'_We're going.'_

_I nodded sadly and slowly stood up._

_--_

_I sat on my bed in my room, hands nervously gripping the blanket to stop them from shaking. After Lavi had left, I realised... What if he didn't come back? Or... What if he came back, and didn't remember me? The thoughts whirled in my head, and my heart throbbed painfully at every one. I wanted to see if he'd gotten back, but what with Bookman suspecting us, I didn't dare._

_Timcanpy unfurled himself from the bookcase and flew over to me, landing on my shoulder and nuzzling my neck. I absent-mindedly reached up to pet him._

'_God Tim, I'm in a lot of trouble, any advice?'_

_Of course, I didn't expect an answer from him. I sighed and let myself flop back onto my pillow, making Tim move from my shoulder to my bookcase again. I unzipped my boots, tossed them across the room and got under the covers, all the worrying tiring me out. I closed my eyes, willing to go to sleep, to escape the fear of never seeing him again..._

'_Bit early to be sleeping, isn't it?'_

_I cried out in surprise and sat up, disoriented by my sudden waking. Lavi sat on the edge of my bed, smiling._

'_Lavi!' I gasped, 'How long have you been sitting there?'_

'_Bout fifteen minutes,' He answered. I raised my eyebrow._

'_So you just sat there staring at me while I slept? You big pervert!'_

_I kicked him off the bed. He landed on the floor with an "OOF!", and started to laugh. I smiled and got up to help him to his feet. I know that was a bit hypocritical of me, considering I had done the very same thing to him not too long ago, but he didn't know that._

'_Anyway,' I continued, 'What happened? With Bookman?'_

'_Nothing,' Lavi said, sighing. I felt relieved, but there was something about Lavi's face that told me something was up. But, before I could ask him what, he spoke again._

'_Listen, Allen, you wanna go on a date or something?'_

'_A-a date?!' My eyes widened in surprise. I could feel my face heat up. 'But isn't it a bit risky now that Bookman suspects something? Lavi, i don't want your memories erased!'_

'_S' ok , Allen,' Lavi grinned, squeezing my shoulder in comfort, 'He said he'd be busy all day. Besides, even if he did find us, I would never let my memories of you disappear.'_

_I smiled and nodded. I wasn't as confident as Lavi was, but if he wasn't worried, there was no reason for me to be._

_--_

_We managed to sneak out of the order without being noticed, and as soon as we were out of sight I felt Allen slip his woollen-gloved hand into mine. I smiled at him, and glanced around. We were nearing town, and everywhere was covered in thick blankets of snow. Even as we walked we were being sprinkled with snow flakes. I loved snow; it reminded me of Allen's hair._

'_So where are we going?' Allen asked cheerfully._

'_Well...' I thought carefully, 'we could go to the park, how about that?'_

'_Ok...' Allen nodded and smiled at me._

_We walked into town and towards the park in silence. When we did get to the park, we stopped to look. The small lake was frozen, and everywhere was snowy, even the tops of the bare trees. It looked like a Christmas card. We walked around for a bit, talking about whatever came into our heads, and then, Allen suggested we build a snowman._

_I grinned and nodded, and we went about gathering up snow, but, just as my back was turned, i felt something cold explode over my head and turned to see Allen smiling evilly at me, rolling another snowball into shape._

'_Ah, so it's a fight, is it?'_

_--_

Bookman turned a corner and stopped, and backed up a bit so he was behind some trees. Lavi and Allen were in the park in front of him, having an epic snowball fight. He narrowed his eyes.

He was sure now, that Lavi had broken the rules, but, he needed to wait until he actually saw concrete proof, before he could erase Lavi's emotions.

Just then the fight ended, and the old man backed away.

--

_A waitress placed a hot chocolate in front of Allen, a coffee in front of me, and left. Allen picked up his cardboard cup blew away the steam and sipped it._

'_Warm now?' I enquired, smiling at how cute he looked._

'_Getting there...' Allen nodded, and drank some more. Keeping my eyes on Allen, I drank my coffee. We had stopped the snowball war because I noticed Allen had started to get cold, and I guess my anxiety has made me a bit protective of him, so we came here to get something hot to drink and eat._

_I noticed Allen's left hand lying on the table while his right one held the cup. I reached forward and went to hold it, but as I did, Allen pulled his hand away and out of sight, as though casually. I sighed._

_Allen was ok with holding hands in public, i asked him already, but he never let me touch his left arm, which i found kind of irking. I knew he had suffered abuse in his life, both verbal and physical, because of the so called "deformity", so maybe it was just instinct, but still..._

'_Allen...' I looked at him seriously as he put his drink down, 'You... Trust me, right?'_

'_Of course I do!' Allen raised his eyebrows at me._

'_Good...And you know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?'_

'_Yeah... Lavi, is something wrong?'_

_I looked closely at his face. He spoke the truth.. But, even though he trusted me, there was the shadow of doubt, deep within his misty eyes. From one glance, I could tell..._

'_You think I hate the way your arm looks, don't you?'_

_Allen looked up at me, alarmed. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell me that wasn't true, but before he could speak, I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him._

_--_

The second the two boys kissed, it was all over. Bookman had them.

He knew.

And, as they came through the gate, he was waiting for them.

'Lavi.'

Lavi and Allen looked up in surprise as Bookman strode towards them.

'Hey Panda, wha-'

'You broke the most important rule of being a bookman,' Bookman continued over the top of him, 'You got involved. As such, you must have your memory erased.'

'What?!' Lavi looked horrified. He stumbled back a little, hitting the wall. Bookman advanced, but Allen stepped between them, eyes fierce.

'Hey! If Lavi doesn't want his memories erased then I don't think you should! Please, can't you just-'

_WHACK!_

The sound echoed through the hall. Allen cried out as Bookman slapped him hard across the face and knocked him to the ground. Lavi yelled in horror.

'Allen Walker, this does not concern you. I suggest you go back to your room and forget about my idiot apprentice.'

Allen stared up at him, speechless. Lavi pushed himself off the wall to help him, but Bookman grabbed the front of his shirt and pressed him back with strength unusual for a man of his age. As Lavi kicked and struggled, he placed his other hand on Lavi's forehead and started muttering in a strange language.

A series of Arabic looking texts appeared on the redhead's shin, glowing an eerie yellow. His eyes went blank and his struggling ceased.

'Lavi!' Allen called, tears sliding down his cheeks. He jumped up to run towards them, but before he could reach them, Bookman stopped the chanting and released his successor, and the teen slid to the floor.

'NO!'

--

**Ok, sorry if this was a bit rushed towards the end, but i really want the plot to move along a bit, so yeah, end of chapter.**

**By the way, i was thinking for my next fic i could do one of those fics where allen turns out to be a girl. I know theres alot of those, but have you noticed most of them are yullen? Theres not enough laven!**

**So yeah, tell me what ya think about me writing that.**

**REVEIW!**


	8. LEMON!

**K, lets just get to story. THIS IS IT PEOPLE! THE LEMON CHAPTER!**

**--**

_I woke up in my room, a little confused as to how I got there. I sat up, and suddenly my head throbbed painfully and a sensation of nausea washed over me. I groaned and fell back onto my pillow. Was I sick?_

_I couldn't seem to remember how I got here. Maybe I'd gone on a mission and got knocked out? No, then I would be in the infirmary._

_I waited until the sick feeling went away and then got up. My head was still hurting, particularly the area behind my forehead, so i looked at myself in the mirror and lifted up my fringe. There weren't any bruises or marks, which confused me, but before I could investigate further, there was a banging at my door. I turned as the door swung open to reveal Panda._

'_Good,' He narrowed his eyes, 'You're awake. Get packing, we're leaving.'_

'_W-we are?' I raised my eyebrows, 'Where too?'_

'_I haven't decided yet.'_

_My eye widened in shock._

'_Wait, you mean we're leaving forever!? Not just on a mission?!'_

'_Yes, stupid apprentice. We have gotten too involved here, so pack up the things you will need and meet me at the train station a six tonight. Got it?'_

'_Yes, Panda...'_

_Panda left, and I started to gather up the books and crap on my floor to sort through the things i would need. But, something bothered me; I didn't want to leave._

_Normally, when we moved on to the next "log", I didn't care, I just shed my old identity for a new one without a thought, but the thought of leaving this identity made my chest ache._

_I winced and placed my hand on my heart. It was beating rapidly, meaning my anxiety was acting up, but that had never happened when me and the old man were moving on. I shook my head and continued cleaning as I tried to ignore it. Maybe he was right; maybe we HAD gotten too involved._

_--_

_I had finished packing by lunch time, so I went down to the cafeteria to eat, and maybe tease Yu a bit. To my surprise, I found that the crush I had on him had disappeared._

_Just then, I spotted him in the hall I was walking down._

'_YU-CHAN!' I cried out, jumping onto his back._

'_WAH-RABBIT!' he yelled angrily, trying to reach and grab me, 'GET OFF!'_

'_Aw, your so mean!'_

_Suddenly, Yu had a sword to my throat. I blinked nervously and carefully let go. He made an annoyed sound and started walking. I followed, making sure to keep a sword lengths distance._

'_So, I'm leaving today, you might never get to see me again.'_

'_I know, I already celebrated.'_

_I laughed, but before I could say anything, I saw the entrance to the cafeteria coming up. Standing in the doorway, looking into the eating area nervously, was a boy a few years younger then me, with white hair, and a red scar down his face. Almost instantly, my heart throbbed, followed by the tight, anxious feeling of my lungs being constricted. I couldn't remember seeing this boy, and yet, I had the feeling I knew him. Was he an exorcist?_

_Just then, he heard our footsteps and turned around. He had a nasty looking bruise on his cheek. My heart was thumping against my chest painfully, like it was trying to get out. My head was aching badly. Who the hell was this kid?_

'_Oi,' Kanda pushed him aside, 'Move it, Beansprout.'_

_The kid nodded sheepishly and backed away from us. As we passed him, I noticed he was staring at me, with a heart broken expression on his face._

'_Hey Yu,' I tapped Kanda on the shoulder, 'Who was that?'_

'_Baka, don't act like an idiot. And don't call me by my first name!'_

'_No, really,' I pressed on, 'What's that kid's name?'_

_Kanda stopped and looked at me strangely._

'_Allen Walker, but why the hell are you asking? You two have been practically glued to each other since you met.'_

_This made me very confused. I was almost certain i hadn't seen that boy before, but if Yu was telling the truth, I apparently knew him very well... But it didn't matter now anyway. I was leaving tonight, so there would be no time to figure it out. I pushed the boy o the back on my mind and went to the ordering window._

_--_

_Back in my room, I moved on to the next pile of books. I picked up the junk in my arms and started to sort through them. I smirked as I opened a large encyclopaedia and a anime magazine fell out. I was always __disguising magazines as my work when I go bored, it helped pass the time. I bent to pick it up, and as i did, I saw outside the window. It was snowing heavily._

_Suddenly, I was hit by another wave of nausea. I clamped my hand to mouth, holding my stomach with the other, and tried to breathe normally, not wanting to throw up. That area on my forehead was aching again._

_I lay down on my head and curled up, waiting for the sickness to pass. Then, for some reason, the image of Allen Walker popped into my head._

'_WHAT THE HELL?!'_

_I sat up as the sick feeling suddenly disappeared to be replaced by a happy-yet-nervous feeling. What on earth was wrong with me? It was like my body couldn't decide if it was sick or not. _

_I was getting fed up, so I got on the floor and grabbed more books. I noticed a report book had slid under my bed. I reached for it and dragged it out, and as I did, the bookmark slid out of the pages and dropped into my lap. I stared. It was an ace of hearts playing card._

**BANG.** _It hit me like a punch in the face._

--

_I sat on my bed, knees clasped to my chest. Lavi was leaving. He didn't know who I was._

_I felt dead._

_I could feel Timcanpy tugging desperately at my hair, trying to alert me to something, but I didn't respond._

'_This isn't fair...' I murmured._

'_You got that right.' A cheerful voice next to my ear agreed._

'_AGH!' I jumped beck in surprise, eyes widened. Lavi sat cross-legged in front of me, smiling._

'_L-L-L-LAVI!' I gasped, shaking. 'When did you come in?!'_

'_Guess what...' Lavi ignored my question, 'I remember you.'_

_I stared in shock, unable to believe it. Seeing I was unable to answer, Lavi crept forward, and placed his lips on mine. Joy overtook me, and I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. A minute later we parted for air._

'_H-how?' I gasped, not letting go of him._

'_I wasn't quite ready to let you...' Lavi grinned, putting his arms around my waist, 'So the memory easing thing wont work on me... Hey, are you crying?'_

_I shook my head, tears running down my face, and pulled Lavi in for another kiss. I was so unbelievably happy I was crying with joy. I had him back, and he loved me. I felt nervous as I parted from him to whisper in his ear._

_--_

**HOLD IT! OK, THIS IS WHERE THE LEMON STARTS, SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF THING, SKIP DOWN TO WHEN YOU NEXT SEE BOLD TEXT.**

**Also, please try not to go into detail about this part while reviewing, I'd probably die.**

**--**

'Are you sure?' Lavi enquired. Allen nodded, and the red head smiled. The started kissing again, more deeply this time, and Allen felt Lavi slowly lower the both of them onto the bed. He started to undo the buttons on Allen's shirt, all the while not breaking the kiss.

Then, the shirt and ribbon around Allen's neck were pooled on the floor, as was the glove on Allen's left hand. Lavi moved his head down a little, and started kissing Allen's neck and sucking at the skin, making him moan a little. The boy tried to regain enough sense from the sudden high the kiss caused him to reach out and tug off Lavi's dark blue shirt, and then, with shaking fingers, he started to unbutton his pants, Lavi doing the same.

And then, Allen gasped as he felt Lavi massaging the inner part of his thigh, getting close to his member. The redhead moved his head down further, kissing Allen's chest, his stomach, his-

'AH!' Allen gasped as Lavi took him inside his mouth and started sucking hard. He gripped the top of Lavi's head, squirming and arching his back. He felt hot, and was starting to pant.

Then, Lavi suddenly stopped, and grabbing Allen's hips, he moved the young boy's legs apart and hooked them over his shoulder. Allen tried to see what was happening, but then, he screamed as Lavi pushed into him hard. Lavi silenced him with a kiss and brushed his tears of pain away.

'I-it hurts...' Allen stuttered.

'It's ok...' Lavi whispered seductively, 'It'll only hurt for a little while.'

And then, Lavi started thrusting into him. Allen gasped in pain, hands gripping the sheets below him like handles, each thrust blinding him and an insane mix of extreme pain and extreme pleasure, all the while getting hotter and more out of breath. And then, Lavi hit the sweet spot, and he yelled, his voice hoarse.

'OH! L-LAVI...AH!'

Lavi could tell both he and Allen were going to climax soon, so, taking Allen's erect member in his hand, he started pumping in time to his thrusts, and then-

'OH GOD!

'S-SO GOOD..!'

They both came, Allen slightly earlier. Exhausted, Lavi moved and collapsed next to Allen. He kissed him passionately, albeit a little drunkenly, and reached across to hug him closer. He noticed Allen shied away a little as he touched his left arm.

'Allen...'

Lavi moved to that side, and forcefully laced his fingers into Allens and stroked the arm with his other hand, lovingly kissing it.

'Lavi...' Allen tried to move away, his voice fearful, 'You don't have to pretend to-'

'I'm not pretending...' Lavi murmured, looking up, 'I love you, Allen, every part of you.'

Allen smiled, tears forming in his eyes again. Lavi brought his arms around Allen's waist, hugging him to his chest.

--

**Ok, lemon over, you can look now.**

**--**

_When I woke up, Lavi was no longer next to me on the bed. He was sitting on the edge of the mattress, fully dressed and pulling his shoes on. I sat up, wincing as the sudden movement caused me an aching throb you know where. _

'_Lavi, where are you going?'_

'_Train station to meet Panda.'_

_My heart felt like it had been stabbed. I had completely forgotten he was leaving. He suddenly looked at me and grinned._

'_Relax, Allen, I'm only going to tell him there's no way in hell I'm leaving you.'_

'_Really?' I asked, my heart jumping._

_Lavi chuckled and placed a kiss on my lips._

'_Would I lie to you?' Lavi grinned. 'And don't worry about the memory thing, If it doesn't work on you once it wont work on you at all, so, I'll be back later, ok?'_

_I nodded as Lavi patted my head. I fell back onto my pillow feeling deliriously happy._

_--_

**PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!!**

**Ok, chapter over. REVEIW! But please forgive me if I wrote the lemon scene badly, it was my first time writing one. And good news! I'm gonna post a femallen fic same time as this chapter so look for that!**

**Also, this fic is not yet over, one more chapter to go.**


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